Hard to see past the curve

During these past seven months, I had time to think about the years invested in the company of my wife. We had good and bad days but even in days that seemed dark we had time to embrace, feel the connection; we never lost that.

My wife's condition, Glioblastoma, caused her mood and personality changes that I was not able to recognize as something very serious and instead attributed them to work stress, our finances, the environment of the XXI century, politics, etc. I regret that I did not pay attention to those changes and was not capable to see beyond the "curve". If I had, perhaps that would have given her a few more months, or years, with us, better quality of life, so much more!

Christina always wanted to visit France. I used to tease her and tell her "Christina, I do not know where that fascination that you have with Frenchmen comes from! It must be that they elongate their lips to talk as if wanting to kiss you. I believe you wanted to marry a Frenchman but instead, you settled for a Cuban!" She would smile at me and tell me "No, no, no; I love you!". That I knew it was true.

We never had enough funds to visit France together but we could squeeze for one and although I always insisted to her to buy the plane ticket and go, she would not do it. I regret I did not buy the plane ticket myself and send her on her way to see the world. Same for Egypt, but terrorist attacks on tourists made me abandon the idea of insisting on her visit to the African country.

My biggest regret of all is that in 1993 when she asked me to marry her I said "no". I should have married her ignoring the circumstances we were in and join her to be happy and spend more time together.

Life throws these curves at us and it is hard to see beyond. We can only do our best.

Comments

The Planner 00Iren

When I tell my daughters that their mother was amazing, I am not sure they grasp the magnitude of her stature. They tell me – “Yes dad, we know”. I remember the day I saw Christina the first time. It was in the halls of the chemistry department of Simon Fraser University. We both entered this long hallway at the same time, in opposite directions, in white lab coats, and we had the opportunity to take a good look at each other. When we passed our eyes crossed. She kept walking without turning but I looked back to see her disappear into one of the laboratories. “ Wow, I do not have a remote chance with that girl! ” Years later, after we reunited in Vancouver, she told me that she thought the same "- He is going to make a woman very happy one day" - She told me that she had no idea that it was going to be her. After I received the ultimatum letter from Canada Immigration, I was left with no option but to escape to the United States and avoid deportation and possible impriso...

A Thousand Pictures, Three Remain

A thousand pictures, scattered wide, Moments frozen, side by side. Laughter, sunsets, faces bright, Fleeting echoes caught in light. Yet in the haze of time's embrace, Only three still hold their place. One of love, so pure, so true, One of loss, a tear in blue. One of hope—a flame so small, Yet the dearest one of all. Yes, you have guessed right; I was not having a perfect moment then I discovered these pictures in my Blogger picture drive; fresh air from the past. I will sleep with a smile tonight.

It's been a Long Time Since I've Seen Her

To our daughters; I learned so much from your mother! She was my lover and my bosom friend. The summer of 1992 was running in earnest and Mom and I were escaping every day to many different places around the mainland. We were having the time of our lives! At the end of the summer, I did not have a penny left but was the happiest man alive! Mom had a white 1989 Chevrolet Cavalier station wagon. Her car smelled like a wet dog, Sam, her dog, was the main passenger before she met me. That car would break down every 100 kilometers or so and would run out of gas as soon as the gas red light went on, and guess who had to push; your Dad! But, we were like peas and carrots and as happy as they came. You always tell me - " Dad, you know strange old words and expressions no one uses these days! " Your mom is responsible for that! I learned what a "Sea Shanty" is in that white Cavalier listening to CBC radio. The station had a show on sai...

My Family After Tragedy

Search This Blog