Hard to see past the curve

During these past seven months, I had time to think about the years invested in the company of my wife. We had good and bad days but even in days that seemed dark we had time to embrace, feel the connection; we never lost that.

My wife's condition, Glioblastoma, caused her mood and personality changes that I was not able to recognize as something very serious and instead attributed them to work stress, our finances, the environment of the XXI century, politics, etc. I regret that I did not pay attention to those changes and was not capable to see beyond the "curve". If I had, perhaps that would have given her a few more months, or years, with us, better quality of life, so much more!

Christina always wanted to visit France. I used to tease her and tell her "Christina, I do not know where that fascination that you have with Frenchmen comes from! It must be that they elongate their lips to talk as if wanting to kiss you. I believe you wanted to marry a Frenchman but instead, you settled for a Cuban!" She would smile at me and tell me "No, no, no; I love you!". That I knew it was true.

We never had enough funds to visit France together but we could squeeze for one and although I always insisted to her to buy the plane ticket and go, she would not do it. I regret I did not buy the plane ticket myself and send her on her way to see the world. Same for Egypt, but terrorist attacks on tourists made me abandon the idea of insisting on her visit to the African country.

My biggest regret of all is that in 1993 when she asked me to marry her I said "no". I should have married her ignoring the circumstances we were in and join her to be happy and spend more time together.

Life throws these curves at us and it is hard to see beyond. We can only do our best.

Comments

It's been a Long Time Since I've Seen Her

To our daughters; I learned so much from your mother! She was my lover and my bosom friend. The summer of 1992 was running in earnest and Mom and I were escaping every day to many different places around the mainland. We were having the time of our lives! At the end of the summer, I did not have a penny left but was the happiest man alive! Mom had a white 1989 Chevrolet Cavalier station wagon. Her car smelled like a wet dog, Sam, her dog, was the main passenger before she met me. That car would break down every 100 kilometers or so and would run out of gas as soon as the gas red light went on, and guess who had to push; your Dad! But, we were like peas and carrots and as happy as they came. You always tell me - " Dad, you know strange old words and expressions no one uses these days! " Your mom is responsible for that! I learned what a "Sea Shanty" is in that white Cavalier listening to CBC radio. The station had a show on sailors and fishermen and how po

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Today, completely out of the blue, I remembered a story from my childhood. In my neighborhood, there was a child whom everyone called "Buchee". This fellow was a lot older than me, about three or four years older. Therefore, if I recall correctly he must have been a young teenager when these events happened. Buchee lived near my maternal grandparents, who lived two blocks from where I lived. Every time I visited my grandparents I had to walk by Buchee's house and we would exchange hellos and sometimes we would tease each other lightly, nothing offensive. I would visit my grandparents daily after school therefore I would walk the distance every day and most days Buchee and I would exchange friendly words. One evening a group of children, including me, were playing cards on the sidewalk, a few doors from my grandparents. These games could be very competitive and the currency used at that time was crystal marbles. At some point, the stakes were very high and the poo

Dear Love

Dear Love, Forgive me, it has been a while since I have written to you. It is not for the lack of news; home is buzzing with events typical of growing pains and gaining experience. For me, it is just about missing your hands, warm body, your words; missing planning something to do together. I must admit, you always had the best ideas. Recently I became a Master Chef , but not the kind of chef popular among all ages; oh, no! I cook your dishes, daring, adventurous, and full of flavor! I set the table and see you on your chair , right opposite to mine displaying my favorite smile, approving the dinner. I remember when you made Spaghetti Tomato Bassilic for the first time. You thought that I was not going to like it. Boy, were you in for a surprise! It became my favorite dinner! You made it for me. What a treat! Oh, Christina, you were the wife I always wanted to have! The fact that we found each other made me feel very special. We worked hard to be together and celebrated

My Family After Tragedy

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