Hard to see past the curve

During these past seven months, I had time to think about the years invested in the company of my wife. We had good and bad days but even in days that seemed dark we had time to embrace, feel the connection; we never lost that.

My wife's condition, Glioblastoma, caused her mood and personality changes that I was not able to recognize as something very serious and instead attributed them to work stress, our finances, the environment of the XXI century, politics, etc. I regret that I did not pay attention to those changes and was not capable to see beyond the "curve". If I had, perhaps that would have given her a few more months, or years, with us, better quality of life, so much more!

Christina always wanted to visit France. I used to tease her and tell her "Christina, I do not know where that fascination that you have with Frenchmen comes from! It must be that they elongate their lips to talk as if wanting to kiss you. I believe you wanted to marry a Frenchman but instead, you settled for a Cuban!" She would smile at me and tell me "No, no, no; I love you!". That I knew it was true.

We never had enough funds to visit France together but we could squeeze for one and although I always insisted to her to buy the plane ticket and go, she would not do it. I regret I did not buy the plane ticket myself and send her on her way to see the world. Same for Egypt, but terrorist attacks on tourists made me abandon the idea of insisting on her visit to the African country.

My biggest regret of all is that in 1993 when she asked me to marry her I said "no". I should have married her ignoring the circumstances we were in and join her to be happy and spend more time together.

Life throws these curves at us and it is hard to see beyond. We can only do our best.

Comments

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Dear Love, Forgive me, it has been a while since I have written to you. It is not for the lack of news; home is buzzing with events typical of growing pains and gaining experience. For me, it is just about missing your hands, warm body, your words; missing planning something to do together. I must admit, you always had the best ideas. Recently I became a Master Chef , but not the kind of chef popular among all ages; oh, no! I cook your dishes, daring, adventurous, and full of flavor! I set the table and see you on your chair , right opposite to mine displaying my favorite smile, approving the dinner. I remember when you made Spaghetti Tomato Bassilic for the first time. You thought that I was not going to like it. Boy, were you in for a surprise! It became my favorite dinner! You made it for me. What a treat! Oh, Christina, you were the wife I always wanted to have! The fact that we found each other mad...

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