My Family After Tragedy

Oh—Lacrima, Lacrima mia, Would you be my friend? Must I contend—my constant intent, to carry you forever? Where should I treasure your remains: my hands, my face? Oh—Lacrima, Lacrima mia, You are already my friend.

A thousand pictures, scattered wide, Moments frozen, side by side. Laughter, sunsets, faces bright, Fleeting echoes caught in light. Yet in the haze of time's embrace,` Only three still hold their place. One of love, so pure, so true, One of loss a tear in blue. One of hope — a flame so small, Yet the dearest one of all. Yes, you have guessed right; I was not having a perfect moment then I discovered these pictures in my Blogger picture drive; fresh air from the past.  I will sleep with a smile tonight.

  Far away in the distance,  From a star covered place, Your silence reaches me, It echoes in my ears. I recognize your voice, Soft and serene as the breeze,  Filling my senses,  With colors, memories. Now you can see through my eyes, You can taste the snow in my mouth, You can touch my face with my fingers; Because after you left I became this new me, Reborn, part of you and part of me. Thank you for the side of me that is you, I love you again.

  When I sit to think on you I think long, The sea, the sky, the stars, there is always more. If I cannot find the words then let memories fly, Sounds, knocks, music, water, silence, there is always more. When I sit to think on you I pause long, And float suspended in this mist waiting, Waiting for you long, to become light, For me to sleep away swimming in warm milk. When I walk to think on you I walk long, My feet hurt and I only notice silence. You do not hold my hand, nor kiss my face; those are the rules, And I do it again the next day hoping for a different end. When I sit to think on you I think long, To see you sitting calmly on the opposite shore. One day I will close my eyes to swim to you, And I will think no more.

As June approaches, the year 1 mark; I rage. This is a warning to the evil who took my wife. Hot dry dark desert sands, We are not strangers; we know each other, We have been at war since the ocean dried. It is now as it was before; unchanged, you and me, Attack, I am ready to defend! Burn my skin as your fury blows! Striking me with needles to take my memories. Attack, I will defend; our war will never end! You took my wife; you cannot kill me,  I am already your demon, My cry will blind your ears, Locking this fight in every cycle, forever lasting, Attack; I am ready to defend! There will be no truce.

  It has been 11 months... Today, like every month, I sat next to my wife and unleashed memories, like tornadoes with their own breathing pattern, their own heartbeat; powerful and full of energy.  I played my trumpet; my own version of " Silence ".  After June 21st, 2021, I decided to do something for my beloved and selected the task of playing the trumpet. As the hour approached; we watched an old family film. My wife was absolutely gorgeous; the most beautiful woman the sun has seen, she was mine.  Many years ago when our daughters were very young we went to "Dinotown" , a dinosaur theme park in Chilliwack.  We had a great time that day and I captured the festive mood with our movie camera.  I remember the smell of the grass and the fragrance of my wife's skin baked by the sun. At the hour ; I lit her candles and cried... I felt mad with rage.  Why did she have to leave?   A piece of paper was near me and I picked it up to allow my fury to flo...