My Family After Tragedy

Prologue A few weeks ago I found three sheets of paper with a story written by Christina for a Toastmaster speech. The story had some editorial notes handwritten by her. The search for the final version did not return any results, therefore, what you are about to read is the result of having to type the draft of the document as is. To accompany her creation I selected a beautiful and warm image of my beloved. If you fall in love with her; I won't blame you. I hope you enjoy her creativity as much as I continue to enjoy.   By Christina Horvath,  Monday, February 18th, 2019. Early on, my husband and I decided to make stories a part of our children's lives.  We knew the power of stories would help them expand their imaginations and help them develop a better sense of well-being.  Heck, stories are one of life's great pleasures and we wanted them to enjoy them. Like most new parents we did not really know what we were getting into.  We had things well under control ...

After Christina and I decided to have a baby she went off birth control.  One day she told me. "Jose, I am late." "Oh, maybe this is it!  You think?" "No; it is too soon.  I went off the pills just a few weeks ago; for some people, it takes a long time, years, to have a baby.  I know I am not pregnant." "Oh; have you made an appointment to see Dr. Ross?" "Yes; I am going to see her this morning." That day I went to my office in West Vancouver to carry on with my workday as usual.  Back in Port Coquitlam, Christina went to her family doctor's office. "When was the last time you were on birth control?" "Six weeks ago." "Hum; this could be it!" "No, no, no.  I would know if I am pregnant; it is my body!  I do not feel anything!  I am not pregnant!" "Ok, Christina; I am going to bring a little cup and you are going to the bathroom to pee in it.  We just need a little bit of urine for the test...

  My wife and I adored our children.  Christina was a great mother; never saw anyone as dedicated as she was.  When she was fighting her cancer she used to tell her oncologist that she could not die because she needed to take care of our children, especially our younger daughter. It does not work like that.  I would have taken her place more than gladly, but that is not how it works. We bought our home in 2001 and in the first weeks of 2002 our first daughter, Livia, came into the world.  We were immensely happy.  Three years later in the living room of our house, I asked Christina if we could have another child and in 2005 our youngest daughter, Raquel, joined her sister. I believe I know where and when each of our children was conceived.  I loved my wife so intensely; just like riding a comet deep into space and returning from the other side, to mingle with the Gods and the stars.  For both pregnancies Christina took very good care of her health...

How to Pay $7.50 for Bread and Ham (and Still Be Happy) By the summer of 1992, Christina and I were full steam ahead—we were all in, like peas and carrots. Burnaby Mountain Park, just a short drive from Simon Fraser University, became our favorite escape. Christina kept an old green sleeping bag in her car—once used for picnics with her dog Sam—that doubled as our picnic blanket. It was more than a blanket; it was our magic carpet. Lying there after lunch, we’d fall into the sweetest, most tender conversations. That’s where I learned about Christina’s deepest thoughts, her heroes, and her dreams. Because I spent nearly every night with her, I rarely cooked for myself anymore. Instead, I bought lunch and persuaded Christina to come with me—wherever the wind took us. On campus, in town, it didn’t matter. The food wasn’t important; her company was what fed me. One day: “Christina, can you go for lunch now? I can wait if you’re not ready.” “No, this is a good time. Did you bring your lunch...

  After Christina and Ivan's fallout, Christina did not trust me completely.  I do not blame her; the scene at Mario's party was still fresh in our minds.  I wanted to get closer to her but the memory of that incident erected a fence between us.  It was a see-through fence, not one of those made of some sort of impenetrable material. During the first weeks of 1992, one early evening at the pub, Christina was looking affected by something.  I assumed the reason for her mood was not Ivan because the two of them seemed  friendly enough but not involved unless they were keeping their relationship real hush.  I seized the moment to address her directly with an exploratory question when everyone left to get their next round. "What is going on Christina?  You seem a little off.  Is everything ok?" "I am having some difficult days... I'll be ok." - and wearing one of those soft smiles she concluded - "Thanks for asking". "Boyfriend problems?...

Cantinflas starring in "Por mis Pistolas" During the last months of 1991, Christina was working in  Dr. Ross Hill 's research group at Simon Fraser University.  I was working in Dr. Pinto 's research group as a post-doctoral fellow.  Due to the proximity between our work labs, I noticed the pretty girl working next door.  I knew who she was because our groups would often go together to the university pub for a refreshing beer.  Sometimes, the quiet intellectual atmosphere of the pub was a little boring and our groups would team up to go for an extended party time to the pubs of the area like "Mountain Shadow", which does not exist today, or " John B " still standing. During these outings, our groups played darts, sang karaoke, and ate copious amounts of nachos and chicken wings accompanied by gallons of beer. I will never forget on one occasion we visited JobB and the pub had live music, a rock band. I wanted to impress Christina so badly that I as...

  It is difficult to write a story out of context.  My wife and I started a wildflower garden because of taxes.  Yes, you read it right; taxes .   The original idea of what to do with the piece of land in front of our house started to take shape in 2016 when the Liberal government of Justin Trudeau was elected.  During his election campaign, the Liberals promised to set yet another tax on Canadian families, and this time was to save the entire world; The Carbon Tax. Well; they were elected and set themselves to grab more money from our purses without providing a framework to start tapering the usage of fossil fuels.    "Not another tax; it is hard as it is!" were the words stuck in my mind constantly .  To show that the liberals were bringing responsible governance to Canada, and the world, the government started to work on their  Greenhouse Gas Pollution Pricing Act legislation.  It was just a matter of time before we were going to...

Opened a drawer and there it was, under a pile of papers waiting to be rediscovered!    This picture decorated the wall across from my bed in New York.  I could see it clearly before closing my eyes for a good night's sleep, to dream of the day we could be together again, my wife and me.  I have not found the original yet; I know it is somewhere ! There we were in the lobby of The Edgewater in Seattle the day before getting married!  How beautiful we were! Today I was practicing one of my rituals; while I was working on the dining room table Christina's picture was "watching" a show about Egyptian Gods on Prime.  Raquel; our youngest daughter walked into the living room and asked me what I was doing.  I explained to her the ritual, that it was OK to do that because it makes me feel better.  Interestingly, she was wearing a sweater from Mom because it makes her feel better.   We hugged and she asked me for the URL address of my blog....

There is a story behind every photograph taken.  Pictures are testimonies, they have their own soul and objectives.  One can look at the picture and wonder "why was this picture taken?  What is it trying to tell me?"  It could be a happy moment, something beautiful, endless possibilities.  Pictures even take new dimensions under the fantasy and creativity of the curious onlooker. In the summer of 2014, my family and I were walking on Main Street Barkerville Historic Park & Town; browsing and window shopping.  The street was very busy, boiling with actors, and actresses wearing the attire from the old days.  It is difficult not to be enchanted by ancient buildings, the irregular dirt road, the actors, horse riders trotting slowly, accompanied by a coach horse-drawn style carriage lifting a slight cloud of dust, like a portrait from years long gone.  The only pieces out of place were the tourists trying to blend in. An actor playing Billy Barker...

I wrote  "What Are You Going To Do With It?"  late last night, and have read it many times to re-live it, and also for editorial purposes.  There are many stories in draft mode in my blog.  Often I remember something and I start the post because I do not want the thought to go to sleep again.  Many years ago, around the time I arrived from the United States to join my wife for good, I told Christina that perhaps we should write our story.   "Write it" - she said to me.  I meant to tell her, that we should write it together; but she was adamant. "No, this is something you need to do.  Write it". It is amazing how much I remember.

Road trip! There wasn't a summer that we didn't set out to discover new places in British Columbia, and road trips were a joy for our family. Our roads are well built and maintained, very safe to travel on. There are attractions for all tastes, but if I have to select my favorite, that distinction belongs to the Cariboo Gold Rush Trail! The Cariboo Road, a project that started in the mid-19th century starts a few kilometers north of Hope, in Fort Yale.  This town has an interesting history, and it helped make a lot of people very rich during the Fraser River Goldrush.  To this day, modern prospectors visit Fort Yale, where the province holds an open claim for everyone to try their luck. We visited Fort Yale many times over the years; it was one of our favorite close-to-home road trips destinations.  The warm breeze combing the trees, the sound of the raging river, the girls running around laughing, and Christina cooking Goulash on the riverbank while I was gold panning is...

Early this morning I made Date Squares, our favorite road trip snack!  Last night I went to bed hoping the weather would improve on Hwy 3 on route to Manning Provincial Park, but no; the winter storm warning is still in effect and the advice is not to venture onto the roads unless strictly necessary. Although for me it is, on this special day of the year; I turned to "your advice" and decided to wait for signs of improvement in the weather. Maybe tomorrow there will be a break in the weather and I can go visit one of our favorite places in British Columbia; I need this. This morning I was also busy looking for a photograph that is alive in my mind but I could not find it; I could draw that image, I will describe it to you. On December 20, 1994, my flight from New York landed in Seattle. You were waiting for me at the airport standing by the gate being so beautiful! Our meeting after many months was wonderful, but we wanted to get married and we had to decide what to do next. ...

 As I write these words, the clock keeps ticking against my will for the next minute and there is nothing I can do to stop it. I would give a part of me to see my wife again, hear her voice and feel her skin, touch her hair, smell the fragrance of her breath, so sweet ... This month will mark six months since I lost my wife, but it will also be our 27th wedding anniversary. We had known each other for a long time and I was very much in love with her the day she died, just like the first time I realized that she was my beloved 30 years ago. I recently started reading a book for widowers. After reading the first few pages, I was moved because I could sympathize with the author: we both lost our wives in very similar circumstances and we both fought for their lives until the last breath; however, the life that I shared with my wife changed me in ways that are difficult to explain, even to understand, even by myself; it is like if we had fused into each other.  How can that be und...

What you are about to read forms the basis of a speech that I delivered   at the Toastmaster Club where my wife Christina used to be a member.  The speech was part of a special edition of the club to honor Christina. I run out of time but the club was very gracious and allowed me to deliver my speech without interruption. Thanks

When I tell my daughters that their mother was amazing, I am not sure they grasp the magnitude of her stature. They tell me, “Yes dad, we know,” but I want them to understand the steel in her soul. I remember the day I saw Christina for the first time. it was in the halls of the chemistry department at Simon Fraser University. We both entered a long hallway at the same time, walking in opposite directions in our white lab coats. We had the opportunity to take a good look at each other. When we passed, our eyes crossed. She kept walking without turning, but I looked back to see her disappear into one of the laboratories. I thought, “Wow, I do not have a remote chance with that girl!” Years later, after we reunited in Vancouver, she told me she had thought the same: "He is going to make a woman very happy one day." She said she had no idea it was going to be her. In 1993, after I received an ultimatum letter from Canada Immigration, I was left with no option but to escape to th...

  In one of the photos of our wedding day I was crying, and I started to cry since we were declared husband and wife. In that picture I am holding my wife’s flowers, she gave them to me to help me settle down. It worked, and a few minutes later I was calm and happy again. On the way to the hotel, where we were going to have our wedding dinner Christina was driving and I said, “We are married!!!”, and started to cry again, this time inconsolably encouraged by the fact that we were alone in the car. I could not stop!  Again, Christina gave me a map of Seattle and told me “here, help us get there!”. Why was I crying so hard? Yes, I was very happy but there was more, and it will all make sense if you keep reading. 1993 was a difficult year for me and my relationship with Christina. Sincerely, I thought that we could not survive that year. In 1992 I decided not to return to Cuba, for my own reasons and applied for refugee status under the Geneva Convention in Canada. Because I was ...