Lurking Poison

I have been warning myself about this story because it is full of negative energy and resentment.  These passages have become one of my darkest demons; I have others, this is not the only one, but as for the illness and death of my wife, these are the horns of the beast. Thinking about not knowing what it feels like to face imminent mortality makes me reconsider, but the dark side is mighty and sucks me in.

When I was a child, my father told me that for the world to exist as we know it, everything has to be in it, including good people, bad people, murderers, victims, friendly people, crazy people, swindlers, charlatans, tyrants, etc. All these different characters made the world. At the time, I never paid attention to my father's wisdom - "Wow, Dad; you're right".  But yes, he was right.

Christina was the kindest person I have ever met. In one of her social circles, she met a lady, Lady Y, who introduced herself to her as a cultured person, a person of books, knowledgeable on the human soul, and very spiritual. Lady Y had earned Christina's trust and admiration. When Cristina told her that she was seriously ill, Lady Y offered herself as a spiritual guide. I didn't see anything wrong with this because I wanted my wife to feel supported in all aspects.

Before Christina's first operation, we invited Lady Y for dinner at home.  That night I cooked a Hungarian dinner which we all enjoyed immensely.  During our dinner social, Lady Y went straight to the point on how she was going to help my wife defeat her cancer.  She was going to accomplish that using the power of the mind through prayers, power phrases, and meditation and she was going to write a book about how she saved Christina.

"She will become famous Jose; isn't that wonderful!"

It did not sound good to me, and during my life, the first gut feeling is usually the right one.  After Lady Y left, Christina explained to me that she was a poor person, who did not make much money and that she would like to help her a little because she was going to help her; it was only fair.

"Christina, we really do not have the money, I am not going to be working while you are going through the operation.  After the operation, I am going to stay home with you.  If she wants to help, I am thankful but we cannot pay her."

My wife seemed to understand my argument. The next day I decided to talk to Lady Y to clear the air.  The conversation was friendly but awkward; we talked about the dinner; and how good it was, and then I told her that I couldn't afford to pay her for her help.  She told me that she was doing it out of the goodness of her heart and that she was not expecting any payment.  In our conversation, Lady Y returned to the subject of her book telling me that she would organize all chapters and content, and Christina would write her notes, and they would both be the authors of this book and collect the financial benefits and split the gains 50:50.  I did not like this at all and explained to Lady Y that my wife would need a lot of rest after the operation and while undergoing chemo and radiation therapy.

My argument did not convince Lady Y.  This was a big red flag about the unimaginable complications on the horizon.