Skip to main content

Lurking Poison


I have been warning myself about this story because it is full of negative energy and resentment.  These passages have become one of my darkest demons; I have others, this is not the only one, but as for the illness and death of my wife, these are the horns of the beast. Thinking about not knowing what it feels like to face imminent mortality makes me reconsider, but the dark side is mighty and sucks me in.

When I was a child, my father told me that for the world to exist as we know it, everything has to be in it, including good people, bad people, murderers, victims, friendly people, crazy people, swindlers, charlatans, tyrants, etc. All these different characters made the world. At the time, I never paid attention to my father's wisdom - "Wow, Dad; you're right".  But yes, he was right.

Christina was the kindest person I have ever met. In one of her social circles, she met a lady, Lady Y, who introduced herself to her as a cultured person, a person of books, knowledgeable on the human soul, and very spiritual. Lady Y had earned Christina's trust and admiration. When Cristina told her that she was seriously ill, Lady Y offered herself as a spiritual guide. I didn't see anything wrong with this because I wanted my wife to feel supported in all aspects.

Before Christina's first operation, we invited Lady Y for dinner at home.  That night I cooked a Hungarian dinner which we all enjoyed immensely.  During our dinner social, Lady Y went straight to the point on how she was going to help my wife defeat her cancer.  She was going to accomplish that using the power of the mind through prayers, power phrases, and meditation and she was going to write a book about how she saved Christina.

"She will become famous Jose; isn't that wonderful!"

It did not sound good to me, and during my life, the first gut feeling is usually the right one.  After Lady Y left, Christina explained to me that she was a poor person, who did not make much money and that she would like to help her a little because she was going to help her; it was only fair.

"Christina, we really do not have the money, I am not going to be working while you are going through the operation.  After the operation, I am going to stay home with you.  If she wants to help, I am thankful but we cannot pay her."

My wife seemed to understand my argument. The next day I decided to talk to Lady Y to clear the air.  The conversation was friendly but awkward; we talked about the dinner; and how good it was, and then I told her that I couldn't afford to pay her for her help.  She told me that she was doing it out of the goodness of her heart and that she was not expecting any payment.  In our conversation, Lady Y returned to the subject of her book telling me that she would organize all chapters and content, and Christina would write her notes, and they would both be the authors of this book and collect the financial benefits and split the gains 50:50.  I did not like this at all and explained to Lady Y that my wife would need a lot of rest after the operation and while undergoing chemo and radiation therapy.

My argument did not convince Lady Y.  This was a big red flag about the unimaginable complications on the horizon.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

It's been a Long Time Since I've Seen Her

To our daughters; I learned so much from your mother!  She was my lover and my bosom friend.    The summer of 1992 was running in earnest and Mom and I were escaping every day to many different places around the mainland.  We were having the time of our lives!  At the end of the summer, I did not have a penny left but was the happiest man alive! Mom had a white 1989 Chevrolet Cavalier station wagon.  Her car smelled like a wet dog, Sam, her dog, was the main passenger before she met me.  That car would break down every 100 kilometers or so and would run out of gas as soon as the gas red light went on, and guess who had to push; your Dad!  But, we were like peas and carrots and as happy as they came. You always tell me - " Dad, you know strange old words and expressions no one uses these days! " Your mom is responsible for that! I learned what a "Sea Shanty" is in that white Cavalier listening to CBC radio.   The station had a show on sai...
Post a Comment
Read more

Dear Love

  Dear Love, Forgive me, it has been a while since I have written to you.  It is not for the lack of news; home is buzzing with events typical of growing pains and gaining experience.  For me, it is just about missing your hands, warm body, your words; missing planning something to do together.  I must admit, you always had the best ideas. Recently I became a Master Chef , but not the kind of chef popular among all ages; oh, no!  I cook your dishes, daring, adventurous, and full of flavor!  I set the table and see you on your chair , right opposite to mine displaying my favorite smile, approving the dinner.   I remember when you made Spaghetti Tomato Bassilic for the first time.  You thought that I was not going to like it.  Boy, were you in for a surprise!  It became my favorite dinner!  You made it for me.  What a treat! Oh, Christina, you were the wife I always wanted to have!  The fact that we found each other mad...
Post a Comment
Read more

Part of You

  Far away in the distance,  From a star covered place, Your silence reaches me, It echoes in my ears. I recognize your voice, Soft and serene as the breeze,  Filling my senses,  With colors, memories. Now you can see through my eyes, You can taste the snow in my mouth, You can touch my face with my fingers; Because after you left I became this new me, Reborn, part of you and part of me. Thank you for the side of me that is you, I love you again.
Post a Comment
Read more