My Family After Tragedy

  During the past few months, I have written stories about my family, things we have done together, and how I feel about Christina not being here physically.  While I think about all of these stories, events, and feelings, it becomes evident, to me, that there is a great deal of randomness in our lives; there is no master plan.   Of course, we all have goals and fantasies, things we would like to do.  To attempt to accomplish these things we create paths in our minds, others write them in steps or priorities.  These paths help us stay focused on these goals, but what I have experienced is that the actual execution of these steps takes place in an  ether we live in not in isolation.  Naturally, the path to our goals is heavily modulated by the environment we are in; by our lives. Christina and I had many plans. A recurring fantasy was to have a long holiday with her.  We often talked about going to a warm place and simmering our bodies on a white sand beach.  Sorry girls, this fantasy o

We have not made bread at home in a long time.  The kind of bread we usually bake is heavy, multigrain, good for breakfast, not fluffy, and leaves a sensation of satisfaction when you eat it any time of the day.  A toast from this bread goes well with butter and honey, but it is also great with a couple of fried eggs on top.  You might not find this appetizing, but I do.  Sometimes I put a slice of whichever cheese I find in the fridge, a slice of salami, and the eggs on top.  Livia enjoys that kind of savory toast, but Raquel does not care; she is a waffle girl. The recipe that we always use for making heavy-grain breakfast bread calls for honey, however, next to that line there is a note from Christina - " Use sugar instead ".  Her bread was always wonderful.  The bread is now baking and I am waiting for the timer to go off to get it out of the oven and leave the loaf to cool overnight on a rack. I am looking forward to a slice! Over the weekend I painted the window frame o