My Family After Tragedy

When I tell my daughters that their mother was amazing, I am not sure they grasp the magnitude of her stature. They tell me – “Yes dad, we know”. I remember the day I saw Christina the first time. It was in the halls of the chemistry department of Simon Fraser University. We both entered this long hallway at the same time, in opposite directions, in white lab coats, and we had the opportunity to take a good look at each other. When we passed our eyes crossed. She kept walking without turning but I looked back to see her disappear into one of the laboratories. “ Wow, I do not have a remote chance with that girl! ” Years later, after we reunited in Vancouver, she told me that she thought the same "- He is going to make a woman very happy one day"  - She told me that she had no idea that it was going to be her. After I received the ultimatum letter from Canada Immigration, I was left with no option but to escape to the United States and avoid deportation and possible impriso

  In one of the photos of our wedding day I was crying, and I started to cry since we were declared husband and wife. In that picture I am holding my wife’s flowers, she gave them to me to help me settle down. It worked, and a few minutes later I was calm and happy again. On the way to the hotel, where we were going to have our wedding dinner Christina was driving and I said, “We are married!!!”, and started to cry again, this time inconsolably encouraged by the fact that we were alone in the car. I could not stop!  Again, Christina gave me a map of Seattle and told me “here, help us get there!”. Why was I crying so hard? Yes, I was very happy but there was more, and it will all make sense if you keep reading. 1993 was a difficult year for me and my relationship with Christina. Sincerely, I thought that we could not survive that year. In 1992 I decided not to return to Cuba, for my own reasons and applied for refugee status under the Geneva Convention in Canada. Because I was very igno

To honor Christina's memory, I am trying to solve problems a bit more like her. Already canceled her mobile number, and taking care of vehicles, went to the bank, legal photocopies of important documents, government applications forms almost ready to be sent. There is so much to do when a tragedy like this one hits a family and the worst is that I had to face all of these things alone. If I would do things like "me", my way, the wrong way... (the Cuban way?), then I would have said - "I am tired now, and all these will be done, perhaps, later" - I would have started in August! There we are, December of 1994, and believe me, it was not enough time together. In those days I was living in New York and we got married in Seattle, Washington. We did it that way to allow her family to attend our ceremony.  I wanted us to get married in New York where my science career was finally taking off. To give you some context; I was working at the City University Of New York

How can I describe my wife's final 40 days of life?   On the evening of May 12th, right after dinner, Christina sat on her favorite reclining chair.  Every day she would spend many hours of meditation reclined on her chair and it was not uncommon for her to fall asleep.  Very often I would approach her to caress her forehead and she would respond by opening her eyes with a smile.  However, this evening she did not respond.  I thought that she was sleeping very deeply - "Rest Christina", I thought and returned to my after-dinner housework. While in the kitchen I am interrupted by our older daughter. "Dad, mom's nose is bleeding" "It is expected Livia, the current treatment with Avastin can cause nose bleed side effects" - I said while drying my hands. "What if this is something else?  Should we call 911?".  "Let me reach out to the oncologist On-Call at the hospital first and whatever the doctor says we will do.  You can wake up mom